I am pregnant, therefore I pee

22weeks Holy freak balls, haven’t done an update in a bit because I was sick. Damn that damn cold. Hope you didn’t get it.

Last time I posted this baby girl was a little smaller, now she’s practicing gymnastics and bouncing all over the place at 22 weeks —>>

Peeing Problems

Having a cold while pregnant is not that much different… except for the coughing.

What’s so bad about coughing, beside the phlegm and tight muscles that follow?

Peeing. Yeah, peeing.

Don’t kegel exercises help with that, you might ask?

Sure… in another time in another life.

Now, tighten as I may, I fail to stop the wet onslaught a hard cough brings.

Laughing Makes You Pee Too!

I practice kegels too. I even filmed a commercial on how to practice while standing in line at the grocery store. Yes I did.

On episode 4 of my comedy cooking show (wanna see it? go here)

That silly show inspired the book Will Date 4 Food – a comedy dating book for co-dependents.

In fact, you should totally go watch Stirring Up Trouble so you can pee on yourself and know what I’m going through. Yep, laughing produces projectile pee too.

The Answer? Diapers.

So, there I was sitting on the sofa watching the Food Network with my husband who was also sick. I coughed. And pee shot out and yep – wet my pants.

As I coughed, I laughed, which made it worse as I hurried my ass off the sofa and scooted to the bathroom. He was laughing.

Did you just pee on yourself again?

Oh yeah.

What’s a girl to do who keeps wetting her pants? Laundry? Again? Really?

How about those el-cheapo thick honking pads? Yeah baby. They don’t even have wings they’re so basic. But you know what – they sure do catch pee!

Next time I coughed, same thing happened. Same response too.

Did you just pee on yourself again?

Yeah.

The only difference post diapers:

Fuck it.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. your the best!! so funny! i have the same peeing problem and i’m not even preggo! sometimes i just cannot hold it, i’m thinking its because i’m in my 40’s?!?%@# who knows….but i do know that when i stopped drinking coffee it helped in a BIG way. i really miss my cup of JOE but tea isn’t so bad.
    i miss you and i’m so happy for you and Carl! can’t wait to see this beautiful little spirit that’s waiting to enter the world 🙂 she sure has a rockin mom to look forward too! xoxoxoxo gingy

    • Gingeeeee!! OMFG, coffee? Do not say such things. No. No no no.
      Coffee? Dammit all to hell. I’ve even cut down to one cup of decaf – which I am allowed!
      Fucking hell.

      Fuck.

      Tea?

      You’ve got to be kidding me.

      Excuse me while I — peee.

      (hahahah – oh how I love you and miss you!)

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge